


Ignored

by arochill



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Gen, Hiding Medical Issues, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Self-Esteem Issues, Temporary Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-11
Updated: 2019-12-11
Packaged: 2021-02-25 20:40:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21761584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arochill/pseuds/arochill
Summary: Soren was used to being ignored, and he knew none of them would ever truly trust him.So maybe this was better for all of them.
Comments: 10
Kudos: 162





	Ignored

He didn’t enjoy thinking about it, but being ignored was something that Soren was intimately used to. He knew what it felt like to be dismissed, to be looked over and discarded as second best– and even second was a rare occurrence when he was compared to all the others in Katolis that were obviously so much better than him. His father knew it. Claudia knew it, even if she never said it aloud. Siren knew it like the back of his hand.

He wasn’t good enough to be apart of the King’s Guard, not in a way that meant something. King Harrow has died when Soren was meant to be employed to his protection. Ezran became king and all Soren did was sit back and allow his father to dictate what he was to do about it.

Soren had known for a very long time that he was useless. He was stupid and couldn’t think for himself, he wasn’t as good of a fighter as he should be to have such a position as he did, he never understood what others were talking about and could never say anything to contribute to a conversation in any meaningful way. He was a pawn in a giant game of chess, he was a piece that could be thrown away in order to protect the king without any hesitation. He was a man that couldn’t do anything for himself, he was a man who betrayed his father and his sister, he was a man that would never be completely trusted on the side he had gone to in this terrible, terrible war.

There was a reason he didn’t like to think about it. He knew that if he did, he would break. He knew he was stupid, but he knew at least that much. He knew he wouldn’t be able to handle all the emotions that came with it so he clamped down on them as hard as he possibly could. And he continued the act that hadn’t been an act until he realised just how useless he was.

Smiling when everyone looked at him in distrust was easier than he ever thought it could be. Smiling as he slowly broke inside was easier than it had ever thought. He was only useful to the war effort because he was another expendable soldier, and he kept that in mind until the battle ended and they all gathered outside the Dragon Queen’s room.

It was easier than he ever thought possible to ignore the constant feeling of pain he felt from where a blade had gone through him early in the battle. Everyone was more distracted by the fact the Queen was waking up, and he couldn’t find it in himself to mind.

He had killed his father, whether it was an illusion or not. He was a terrible son, an awful sibling, and a horrible soldier. But at least people had no reason to mourn him when he died, because he still didn’t deserve or truly have the trust of the others who knew what he had done in the past, and could do in the future.

Being ignored was something he was used to, so dying that way felt fitting. His father was dead now, confirmed by Callum and Rayla, and he was sure Claudia would never, in her life, forgive him for betraying them as he had. Dying along with his father felt  _ right.  _ Dying alone felt familiar.

They had stood in the chamber of the Dragon Queen, and he was happy for his choice in his side in this war when he saw the unity of the people within the room, the way the elves and humans held hands without any hesitation. It felt right that he would die before he could see the result of this.

The blood hadn’t fallen to the floor yet, his armour was close fitting enough to have stopped that so far, but it couldn’t last forever. Just as they were leaving the room and let Zym be alone with his mother for the first time, the blood dropped to the floor, and Queen Zubeia’s head snapped towards him. Aside from King Ezran, Soren was the only one that hadn’t fully left the room yet. He could only stand frozen as the massive dragon moved towards him, sniffing the air and narrowing her eyes. He could only stand still as Ezran turned towards him too, Zym in his arms. He couldn’t do anything to stop the blood from dripping to the ground.

The Queen stopped directly in front of him. Soren swallowed and felt his vision blur and darken for a moment.

“You are hurt.” The Dragon Queen said, the words not even a question. The bright stain of blood on the ground was more than enough proof to those that could see it.

Soren forced a smile on his face, the expression something that he had slowly been getting used to putting on even when he hurt as much as he did right now.

“It’s just a flesh wound.” He told her, trying to make himself sound as strong as he possibly could, “Nothing a bit of rest can’t repair.”

He watched the dragon's eyes narrow. She was just as convinced about his words as Soren was himself, which was not at all. He couldn’t say that he didn’t try.

The Queen leaned closely, nose pressing softly against him with the gentleness of someone that was obviously a parent.

“You are… grieving. I can tell. I have felt the same thing. Who are you grieving for, young human? Why do you hurt this way?” She asked, more gentle than Soren would ever have expected from a creature that was as large as she was.

Soren wanted to say his father. It hurt that the man he had looked up to and aimed for the approval of for so long was gone as quickly as he was. It hurt that they could never learn to forgive, that his father could no longer be the man Soren had hoped he had been for so many years. Soren wished that he could say he was mourning for the man that raised him… but he couldn’t. Because right now, in this moment, that wasn’t quite true.

He couldn’t see Ezran behind the large dragon’s head, but he knew he was still there. He wouldn’t,  _ couldn’t,  _ say the truth with the kid there. The kid had already gone through so much, he had already had responsibility laid onto his shoulders that he shouldn’t need to deal with at such a young age. He knew how the kids could get with his friends and even though Soren couldn’t call himself that after all he had done to both of the princes all this time he knew that the kid thought of him as some kind of friend.

He wouldn’t do that to him.

Queen Zubeia must have seen something in his eyes, because she moved back just slightly and Ezran came into view. Ezran’s eyes immediately went to the growing puddle of blood by Soren’s feet, and Soren had to watch as the prince - no, the  _ King's  _ expression grew panicked. But Zubeia moved quickly and her snout was brushing up against the hair on Ezran’s head.

“He will be fine, small Prince. But I think you will need to leave, this is not something you need to see.” Queen Zubeia said it lightly, carefully, but there was an air of authority in her voice.

Ezran looked back at him, concern etched into his features, but then he looked back at Zubeia and nodded, determination coming over him.

The young King turned towards Soren again, and gripped his hand tightly, ignoring the blood that stained his shoes with how close he had gotten.

“Please be okay, Soren. I’ll be right outside if you need me, and I’m sure the others will be too. Be okay, alright?” Ezran pleaded. Soren wanted to cry, but he nodded and was inwardly apologising over and over for lying to him about this.

So Ezran left, and Soren was left with the Queen of Dragons in front of him and the Prince by his feet. His vision was blurring and he knew with complete certainty that it wouldn’t be long before the darkness surrounded him completely.

“Who are you mourning for, little soldier?” The queen asked.

And Soren looked up at her, and he smiled with tears in his eyes. He wobbled on his feet.

“Myself.”

And the darkness pulled him in and he crashed to the ground beneath him.

  
  


He floated in the darkness, enveloped in a cocoon of nothing and everything.. He felt rested and he felt awake, as if someone had just dropped him into ice water. But he wasn’t cold. He was hot. He was so very, very hot and there wasn’t anything he could do as he drifted in the emptiness.

“Soren!”

He was tired. He wanted to go home but he no longer had one of those after what he had done, and now he was stuck in a darkness he knew he didn’t deserve to escape from. This was his due. This was exactly what he deserved. If he could have closed his eyes he would have but it felt like he was apart of the darkness and there was nothing different he would see if he tried.

He wondered if this was his personal hell. He was alone, as always. It felt like those times he was ignored all over again, with the added knowledge that this was something he had done to himself and could never escape, not like all the other problems that he ran from.

“ _ Soren!” _

His eyes snapped open before he was even aware of it and he was faced with a brightness that had him shielding his eyes quickly. It took him a moment to bring himself to remove them, but when he did, he found himself looking up at the scared eyes of Ezran. That terror slowly was replaced with complete and utter relief and Soren had no time to react before the king’s small body came upon him, pulling him into an incredibly tight hug.

Soren would have expected to feel pain where his wound was with how tight the boy was hugging, but there was nothing. He looked over Ezran’s shoulder and was struck still by the people he saw behind the boy. There were so many people looking at him. Callum and Rayla were at the front, with General Amaya at their side. Commander Gren was next to the General looking at him with a frown on his face that looked so  _ wrong  _ there.

Behind them was Queen Zubeia who, despite him not understanding expressions on dragons, seemed to be smiling. There was a slight glow against her scales.

Soren couldn’t find it in himself to move even as Ezran finally moved back. This wasn’t right.  _ This wasn’t right. _

“This isn’t right.” He whispered, but in the quiet of the room everyone could hear him.

Ezran reached forwards and grabbed hold of his hands softly. He looked as young as he was, but there was wisdom shining in his eyes.

“It is, Soren. No one here is going to leave you. You’ve proved we can trust you,  _ and more.  _ You are so, so important to us, and not  _ just  _ as a fighter! You knew that what you were doing was wrong, you stood strong against what you thought was wrong. You deserve to have people that care, Soren. And we do.  _ We do.  _ And we aren’t about to ignore you, especially when you’re hurt. Okay?”

Soren looked down at their joined hands, and he saw the first tear fall to his knees before he felt them.

He couldn’t say anything. The first sob left him, and he couldn’t stop himself from falling forwards and back against Ezran, who didn’t hesitate in wrapping his arms back around him despite how much bigger Soren was to him.

He felt more arms come around him, glanced up just slightly and saw Callum and Rayla and Amaya and Gren and he was sure there were others but just the knowledge that they were there  _ for him  _ left him smiling through tears, a smile that didn’t hurt to pull at all.


End file.
